Monthly Archives: February 1990

PHS’s Best Bands

If you’re in a rock band, PHS can be a tough place. The competition is wicked, while the fans are ravenous. So, for player and fanatic alike, here is a list of the best twenty-five bands at Princeton High School. (Divided into categories, so no feelings get hurt.)

Hard Rock/Metal
1. Ledastray
2. Lettuce Tray
3. Led Ashtray
4. Let Us Pray
5. Let Us Stray
6. Red Ashtray
7. Dead-ass Lay
8. Ned Has Sprayed
9. Ted Is Spaid
10. Debt Is Paid
11. Jed Is Gay
12. Reg Will Stay
13. Lemon Clay
14. Phlegm In Bay
15. Leopard Bray

Alternative/Hard Core
1. Intensity
2. Intend City
3. In Tent City
4. Intense Kitty
5. In Trent’s Titty
6. Immense Pity
7. Tin Vent Ditty
8. The Rent’s Shitty
9. Incense City
10. Jim Benched Fifty

 

Probably the worst (but funniest) band ever to play at PHS: Shalom, Talent Show 1988. No one, I mean no one, who saw them will ever forget their rendition of “Roxanne.” No matter how hard they try.

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What My Mother Was This Month

By A Son

One winter day in fifth grade, I asked another boy the temperature outside. This young rebel responded bluntly, “Your mommy.” Angered, my fists beginning to tighten, I asked him to repeat his comment. “Your mommy,” he said, this time more self-righteously. I punched him in the jaw, then he hit me on the cheek. We both ran away crying.

This incident is not significant in my mind because of the brief fist-fight: indeed, I’m sure the other boy does not remember it at all. Rather, it stands out in my mind because it was the vanguard of what has come to be a seven-year string of “Your mom” comments. No mother is exempt from this piercing comeback, and I cannot say that my mom has been persecuted any more than anyone else’s. Since we will never grow out of the phrase, it is time to document what my mother was this month in the opinion of PHS students.

  • When I commented that a friend was having a difficult time opening a piece of gum, he mentioned pleasantly that no, he could not open a gum wrapper, but yes, he could open my mom.
  • In history, when I asked who John Tyler’s Vice President was, I was told that it was my mother who had indeed served the 1841-1844 term.
  • When I commented on a freshman in the halls wearing a bizarre hat, I was informed that the hat really belonged to my mom: she is just lending it to the ninth grader.
  • When I asked why professional baseball managers are threatening to lock certain players out of their clubhouses, I was alerted to the more important fact that my “mother’s jaw is locked to [a fellow student’s] nuts.”
  • My mother is an oxymoron.
  • I’m “just mad because my mom came in late last night.”
  • My mom went from homeroom to homeroom on February 14, giving out carnations.
  • My mom is interested in Greek cuisine: In fact, she ate a fellow student’s souvlaki.

That’s it for February’s comments, but we must remember that it was a short month. The quips will most certainly continue to fly; watch out for a sequel to this report. 

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