Monthly Archives: June 1983

6/14/83

Introducing, Riot Coke!

The cola for pigmies that you’ll drink just for the ingredients: Hiper powder, water. Hiper powder was just invented by a Indonesian garbage worker. He says that it gives you more energy to work in the dump. Of coarse, water is an ancient substance.

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6/7/83

This is the story of Plooktoo, alias “Gasser.” When Plooktoo was a young boy, he sang the blues. When he was a teenager, he sang the blues. Now he is 91 34/48 years old, and he’s still singing the blues. He sings about how rotten and shriveled his girlfriend’s hands were, and songs like that. His friend, Crabtree Ellen, the guitarist, says that he thinks that Plooktoo’s smash hits are educational, and somewhat provokative. The drumest, however, Crumcake Evelin, slightly dissagrees. “Plooktoo’s songs stink,” he says. “They give you the idea that he’s depressed.”

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6/2/83

We will return after these messages.

The Electronic Spanker

Refrain

Oh yes, folks, you can call it Spanky,
You can call it Spank,
But to this little gadget, you will say
“THANKS!”

With the electronic spanker,
     You can spank your kids,
If they did some[th]ing bad,
     I’d not blame you if you did.

Refrain

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6/1/83

I’m not going to write very much today because I hate writing books. I was lucky today because I went to the nurse because of a boo-boo. I was happy when I left because I knew that I missed a lot of writing in my writing book.

[note from teacher: “William, you can do better. Try”]

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